piranhabat:

jakemalik:

*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

my favorite thing about this post is that germs have apparently gained enough sentience to develop a form of monarchy

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meladoodle:

juilan:

My ears. They are ringing.

are u gonna answer em

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missyay:

nazerine:

excessivecompulsive:

nazerine:

the anti vaccination movement basically consists of random people with no knowledge of medicine going “I can medicine better than doctors” and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t literally killing people

you dont need vaccines, I havent had any and Im still doing great

wow, what a compelling argument. you’ve got me

in other news, i am still alive therefore death must be a myth

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thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

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If this gets 120,000 notes I will try out for American Idol singing The Krusty Krab Pizza

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  • 19 hours ago
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teen:

i wanna meet the male version of me 

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digivolvin:

last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up

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